Colorblind

I recognize that racism is a problem in the United States and that people are discriminated against based on how they look. As a white woman raising a boy who would grow up to be a white man in the United States I made the intentional decision to try and teach him to be color-blind. That was my approach to try and teach him to not be a racist. 

When Hulk was born I was working as a tutor for student athletes at Oregon State University. My boss had no problem with me taking him to work (as long as he did not distract the students). The student athlete population is much more diverse than the rest of the University's (or even the state of Oregon's) population. Cincinnati, where we live now, is almost split evenly between white and black residents (49% and 45% respectively). Hulk was one of six white students in his kindergarten class of 20 kids - I counted after a family member commented on the diversity. One of his best friends has a white mom and a black dad and another has a black mom and an Indian dad. He is living a much more diverse childhood than I ever did. Which is great! As I scientist I understand that diversity is important for the health and wellbeing of everyone.

A friend of mine has previously suggested I listen to a podcast called 3 in 30. Previously I had said, "mhmm, sure. When I've got time." But in the interest of educating myself in this defining time of our Nation's history I actually listened when she suggested this specific episode on teaching your kids about racism and bias. This led me down a rabbit hole to another episode on how to teach your kids about skin tone and race and several articles including this one by Negros Who Read. 

To summarize:

By trying to teach Hulk to be colorblind I was preventing natural discussions on the uncomfortable topics of racism and bias. 

Non-racist people can still commit racist acts. 

It's not enough to teach him to not be a racist, I need to teach him to be anti-racist and I can not do that by avoiding conversations on discrimination. 

[insert] lives matter!

A week ago Friday we decided to take advantage of things beginning to open back up and did the only rational thing by socially distancing in the woods. 

Since I use this blog as a family journal I had intended to post about the uplifting experience. 

As we crossed the Brent Spence Bridge going into Cincinnati around 10pm traffic came to a stop. We assumed it was construction and after sitting for several minutes decided to take the longer way home through downtown. The streets of downtown seemed empty and quiet, we assumed it was due to Covid-19, but as we sat at a stop light near the police station we saw protestors. While we were having a great time as a family hiking in the woods, the nationwide outcry against George Floyd's death had begun.

The first few days of protests in Cincinnati saw some damage to buildings and looting downtown with police responding by gassing people but since then they have been peaceful. Today, the 10th consecutive day of protests, saw over 4,000 people gathered downtown. It's incredible to see people come together especially since Cincinnati has a history of racial discrimination in their police department.  

After the first day of protesting the city started a curfew which was first 8pm, then 9pm, and for the last several days has been 11pm. I have managed to break curfew every night while taking Link for a run. 

That's my privilege of living in a relatively quiet part of town.

A year ago, if you had told me "Black lives matter" I would have responded, "yes, and brown, and white - all lives matter." I believe all life has value and God loves each of us the same. I don't know why I was born white while someone else was born black but I know that God loves us equally, irregardless of color or nationality, and that I should do the same.

So when George Floyd's death made the news, J and I were saddened though we didn't see it as "racial discrimination" case but as a "police brutality" case. What was the officer doing kneeling on the George Floyd's neck for almost nine minutes? He wasn't resisting arrest, he wasn't acting threatening, why was he even on the ground? The national publication of his death, to us, seemed racially charged because white people are killed by cops and black cops kill people too. 

Cue this video:

Person A - "Hey, what are you doing?" 

Person B - "Oh, this house is on fire so we're going to go help them. We're going to go put out the fire."

A - "Well, what about my house?"

B - "What?"

A - "What about my house? Doesn't it matter?"

B - "Is your house on fire?"

A - "No, but like it still matters."

B - "Nobody said that it didn't. It's just that this house is on fire and people's lives are at stake. We want to do something about it."

A - "Oh, ok, all houses matter!"

B - "What?"

This is an argument that I understand. By saying, "black lives matter" I am not saying that black lives are more important, I am recognizing that there is an endemic (where people of color are 2.7 times more likely to be killed by police) and until it is addressed all lives can't matter. 

However, I have several friends that have been openly criticizing the protests and one friend in particular whom I respect saying, "all lives matter." This friend is a blue-collar worker who lives in a part of town that sees a higher percentage of criminal activity which is committed by a higher percentage of black people. His family, already struggling financially, was hit hard by the pandemic as his son lost his job and our friend's work hours were cut back. The discrimination that black people receive by others (in general, not by police) are what he experiences due to his profession, lack of high school education, and where he lives. To him, saying "black lives matter" probably feels like, "your struggle is not as important" and that, once again, the upper classes of society are forcing their beliefs and expectations on him. Telling him that "black lives matter" only results in pushback (and an invitation to unfriend him on facebook). 

I am amazed by how people have come together this past week, large organizations are listening. In a way, the Covid-19 pandemic needed to happen for the protests to have the fuel and strength to cause people to come together the way that they have. Now, how do you reach people (like my friend)?