Happy Mother's Day

This week started out rough but ended well. My feelings about Mother's Day oscillate from year to year. Some years I feel stressed, frustrated, and under appreciated. Other years I am able to relax and enjoy the holiday. 

This was one of those years. 

As an introvert, I would appreciate the holiday more if I didn't spend half my day calling all the mothers in my life to wish them a happy mother's day.

But that's really selfish of me.

I should be grateful that I can still call and talk with my mothers (and that I have a good relationship with all of them).

A friend shared a picture of her baby girl last month and said that today she is grateful to her daughter for making her a mother. This friend also has two step-sons. 

I am of the camp that every woman, in some way, is a mother. You don't have to physical birth a child to influence others. To me, a mother is someone who teaches, mentors, and guides others. While this is most often her own children (biological, step, or adopted), it could be the children of friends, relatives, or her children's friends. It could be the children you coach on a regular basis or the random child you stop when you see them running into the street after a ball. 

I have friends who hate mother's day because the day tends to glorify the idea of the "perfect mother" which leaves real mothers feeling inadequate and guilty. There's a good post from Thus We See that puts my thoughts on this topic into words much better than I could. Sure, there may be "better" mothers than me out there in the world but I am doing the best I can with what I have been given. No one can expect more from me than that and I consciously do my best to not compare myself to other woman. So when I hear stories of "perfect mothers" I listen politely. If there's an idea in there that I like and I think will work with my kids I try it out otherwise I move on with my life. This may not work for everyone but it works for me.

The one thing that I consistently don't like about mother's day each year is the consumerism. If J bought me jewelry for mother's day (or candles, or blankets, or wind chimes, or whatever else is being marketed that year) I would through a fit. I have a birthday (and there's Christmas) buy me stuff then. For mother's day, make my day easier by cooking dinner and playing with the kids so I can take a nap. THAT'S IT. That's all I want. 

And maybe some flowers but a bouquet not a plotted plant that I then have to care for and feel guilty about when it eventually dies.

J did have the kids sit down with me to take pictures (and they mostly behaved). 

It was a good day.

Now to go pick up the toys that the kids didn't put away and clean the kitchen. 

There are no breaks in motherhood.