President Elect

Donald Trump was elected president last night. I still can't believe it. I feel like this is a walking nightmare. Apparently people felt the same way when Obama was elected president (what?!). And Obama was a decent president. He was no Roosevelt but he did the best he could with the messed up situation he was given.

Neither JC or I voted for Trump nor Clinton but we did vote. We believe it is our civic duty to be involved in government politics and that includes voting. The speeches given by both parties today were very good. They emphasized unity and the need to work together. Countries work better when people look beyond race, class, religion, or sex and come together to build each other up.

I hope that people voted for Trump because he supports a conservative supreme court judge or he represents an anti-establishment not previously seen in other candidates and they hope he'll be able to change Washington. I hope that people did not vote for Trump because they believe he's less of a threat to our nation than Clinton or because they are misogynistic racists.

It's scary enough bringing up a child in this world. I hope that this change will be for the better and that we will be able to unite to create a better place for ourselves and our children. I hope that Hulk will be able to grow into a compassionate and selfless man.

I hope that God will bless America.

End of Summer Thoughts

The end of August marked the beginning of a new school term. It also means that the Ohio weather has become more mild. We're sooooo excited for the humidity to be over. 

Humidity is the worst.

  

Hulk sleeping on the plane

Hulk and I were able to go home and see family for a week.
Aside from a cold, we had a great time.

Visiting my sister's grave

I am really grateful that my mother-in-law (Nana) was able and willing to spend nearly the whole visit with Hulk and I. When people mention their in-laws it's rarely in a positive light. My in-laws are amazing and I am grateful for the relationship we have.

The whole family together <3

Hulk has a really weird bond with Nana. He asks for her everyday, asks when she's going to visit next, why can't we visit her, can we call her, why we can't call her at 4am pst. We checked this book out from the library that he loved called "Hello, my name is Bob." (it's pretty cute). Now he goes around giving objects names. His favorite is, "Hello, my name is Nana!" When I've had to tell him "no" more than once I'll say, "I said 'no'." He'll respond by saying, "Nana said yes." (even though she's 2500 miles away and has no idea this exchange occurred).
He's obsessed with his Nana.
And rightly so, she devotes every moment to him. She's the perfect grandma and spoils him.

Hiking with Nana

 He also doesn't do well with change.
He likes to feel in control and change messes with his 3 year old perception of the world.

Beautiful Oregon coast

 So when we went home I made a conscious effort to ensure Hulk could spend as much time with Nana as possible. This would mean that my parents and siblings would need to make more of an effort to spend time with him. It's not that he wouldn't be willing to spend time with them with Nana around but he wouldn't need to go in search of playmates with her there. Another reason for my decision was JC and I had just moved to a new apartment, started attending a new church, and our schedules had changed to adjust to the new location.

The family <3

 Hulk wasn't coping well and I felt time with Nana would help him. And it has, he has been so much happier since we returned to Ohio. He still has his moments but they're much less frequent. He no longer melts to the floor in tears begging to go "home" when we are already at our apartment. Nana was going to come visit in October but JC and I feel that Hulk is doing well enough that he could make it to Christmas without her. Before my trip to Oregon we didn't think he could.

Reading the trail map

I have no doubt this is just a phase he's going through. Right now, Nana is his security blanket.
(he even prefers her to me which is hard)

Two trolls in a cave

As Hulk's mother I acted in what I still believe was his best interest. The decision was made, the trip has been completed, and now it is in the past *insert Disney quote*. I checked with my parents and siblings, they weren't offended or threatened by Nana's presence.

Grandpa the sherpa

JC and I are married. His family is my family not just now but for eternity. Right now, Hulk prefers JC's mom over my parents. Fact. But she's still family, my family. It would be easy for a member of my side of the family to feel threatened because Hulk prefers Nana. She's an in-law and easily seen as an outsider. In contrast, if Hulk had spent our time in Oregon glued to one of my parents or siblings, it would have been easy for members on my side of the family to think his actions were really cute and sweet.

First time together in 2 years 

Fortunately I have awesome parents and siblings who trust and respect my position as Hulk's mother. I am grateful that my parents were able to encourage me to be an independent and confident woman.
Not to talk myself up but I like the person they created :)

Who knows? Maybe next year he'll prefer my mom ;)

To my baby sister

Dear Karna,

Happy 21st birthday! I imagine, had you the opportunity, you would have followed in EW's footsteps and served a mission. With the age change you'd probably be just coming home. For a short period of time mom and dad would have had three kids in the field.

I still think about you. Lots. When people ask how many siblings I have, I falter between five and four. The day you were born is one of my strongest childhood memories. I remember how excited I was and how tired mom looked. I remember when we went to visit in the hospital - I asked dad if I could hold you and he paused before he said yes but I had to sit on his lap first. I sat on his lap, someone put a pillow on my lap, and then I was able to hold you.

I remember the day you died. I woke up and you weren't there. I asked mom where you were and she said that you were on an airplane to Oregon. I was mad because she didn't wake me up to say goodbye. At your funeral, I asked mom if I could touch your arm. It was cold and hard. During the service Meghan and I picked flowers that were growing under a nearby tree. For awhile after our home was filled with flowers. Mom would yell at EW or I if we touched the lilies.

You were born, and died, at an appropriate time of year when we celebrate Easter, rebirth, and Spring. General Conference was held this last weekend. It's a boon as it spiritually uplifts and reminds me of the Plan of Happiness and the covenants I've made. I know that Heavenly Father has a greater plan for you and that you are doing a great work, serving a spiritual mission, where ever you are.

I love you,

Sis

Locke Cemetery - December 2015