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9.3.14

My Grievances: To The World

This week started out awful. I swear, Mommy cut milk time in half.
Not cool.
She also wouldn't hold me all day like I wanted. Kept setting me on the carpet (you wouldn't believe what I find on that thing) with some toy in front of me. Hah. Like that parlor trick is going to work after the ten bazillionth time. Doesn't she know that holding your baby all day will help development? Not to mention she has no idea how to do laundry properly; my clothes are becoming smaller with every wash.

Daddy isn't very nice either. He gets to use spoons and eat interesting looking food. Do I? 
Of course not. 
The other day, I was trying to call up my friend from the pre-mortal life (he was born to a much nicer family - they have a dog that likes to have its tail pulled) and Daddy had the audacity to pull the phone out of my mouth mid-sentence!
Mommy also wont let me play with her iPod after I performed my patented quality control checks on it. It's not my fault it wasn't up to code.

Grandpa brought over The Red Hat of Shame. It may be covered in cute little monkey firefighters but this doesn't fool me. Every time Mommy puts it on me I resist out of principle. It messes up my hair and is uncouth. I'm putting in a request for this. I hear people give gifts on birthdays. Just an idea.
  
For the past several weeks I've been conducting research to see how often my parents will change my clothes. Despite my best efforts they refuse to change me every hour. Recently, I've resorted to spitting up but with no real change in their behavior I'll have to test another hypothesis.

2 comments:

  1. Pity the woes of a doted child. Good luck with getting the $600 Swedish air-bag helmet. The guy demonstrating putting it on was confusing- no hair on his head, a thin line on his face, and lots on his chest!

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  2. He also received shots last Friday, which hasn't helped his outlook on life.

    ReplyDelete